Start back at the bottom and work the way up

I think it is amazing how easily others can make or break you if you let them. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster and my mindspace has only gone back to being focused and determined as of 6 days ago. I am an emotional eater and it has been a downfall for as long as I can remember but that doesnt mean I have to stay an emotional eater or let it rule me. Last wednesday when my personal trainer got me to get it all out in the open what has been happening in my head for the previous few weeks I broke down. A lot has happened and I cant change that but I can change the now and the future.

Today I had my personal trainer Darren and although he nearly kills me with his training on purpose he is one of my biggest supporters and he really shoved it in my face about why I chose him as a trainer and got me to set goals, acknowledge the things that happened and create solutions so it doesnt happen again and as much pain as he puts me through every single week on those machines and through circuits he is a great trainer and I would recommend him to anyone.

Howdy Dudey

Well it has been a trialing time lately. My great grandmother passed away last friday at the nursing home. Poor old dear had a stroke and although she lived to an amazing age of 94 years old she was a very much loved and close family member and losing her sent me completely off the rails. I havent been to the gym since friday last week though I have booked in for this monday with the personal trainer to get me back in line and after finally now having a clear head I am really ready to get this moving and smash the fat away.

I have entered the City 2 Surf with my kids as part of Amys ladybugs team and I am raising money for the Salvation Army in memory of my great grandmother who was heavily involved with the salvation Army. They Salvation Army helps over a million Australian families each year and without the support of everyday Australians they wouldnt be able to make it possible. I am kicking it up a gear this week and for the next 11 weeks to really shed the weight off in time for the City 2 Surf.

I have had an even greater shock with finding out my 6 year old boy is severely constipated from all the crap food he eats since he eats what my husband eats (my husband doesnt eat vegetables) well he isnt liking that I have changed his entire diet... in fact he is still up right now trying to avoid eating vegetables and has tried telling me he will just waste them... he got a shock when I told him he wasnt going to bed until he ate every last vegetable and I made him a chicken teryaki stirfry with lots of different types of vegetables. He is that bad the doctor has given him laxatives and I have to take him back to the doctor on sunday to see how he is progressing. The X-ray showed he was so bound up that it was right through his whole abdomen! To add to it, much to my sons disgust, I have booked Brendan in to see the dietician and pediatrician and I have thrown out all of his garbage school snacks like chips and tiny teddies and replaced them with healthy uncle tobys and SPC snacks. I have also banned him from having money for the canteen (I am sticking it all in his bank account instead) because I cant control what he eats from there and despite last year them having only healthy food I have discovered this year they have filled the canteen with junk because they werent making much in the way of profit last year.

I have joined the aim train and I have also joined the 12wbt and with the amount of strength and willpower I have right now I am going to power through this and instill the change into my son too. This is a lifestyle change not a diet and it is a change to better our lives.

Taking the 12WBT challenge

Well I have joined Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation which is due to start in the next week and it is quite exciting at this point because it is new and I needed a shake up. I have grabbed the list of the classes at the gym and I am going to give them a go tuesday, wednesday, thursday and friday as long as I can find where the classes are held... I think they are upstairs somewhere but I am sure, if I cant find a personal trainer to ask, that there will be a trail of people moving through the gym to where ever the classes are held.

I had the personal trainer session today... he decided to shake it up for me (didnt have to ask) and so half an hour was with machines and the other half an hour was a continuous circuit. I was so drained from giving it 110% that this afternoon I got home from picking up Brendan from school and Reece was asleep so I put him into bed and fell asleep myself... batteries are now recharged lol but I still have plenty to do that didnt get done while I was asleep.

I bought new clothes from Rockmans on the weekend and I bought them thinking they will fit me in a month or so. When I got home I was freezing so I thought I will try on one of the jumpers and it fit! It is a size medium! I am so shocked!

Oh the pain!

Well as you know I had a personal training session on monday. I was introduced to the torture chamber, I mean the lovely area in the gym where they have all the wonderful weights machines that tone muscles and burn fat (and inflict some serious soreness). Forgive me for not knowing what the machines were called but after pulling and pushing and curling 25 - 40 kg of weights my brain was a little fuzzy at the end. I had one that you pull down with your arms, one you pull like a rower, one you look like you are trying to cuddle an imaginary tree, a seated leg curl, a reverse (on stomach) leg curl and in between I had squats, lunges, situps, crunches, climbing up stairs two at a time, medicine ball twists and then a variety of stretches. Not giving in I pushed myself as hard as I could (not that Darren, my personal trainer, would have accepted less lol) especially when I am copping give me ten more Danni. Ahhhhhhh my legs!!!!!!

Well doing squats and lunges was very interesting to do in between as when your legs have just been curling 35kg they dont want to do silly bendy exercises. Oh I could picture people laughing at me now if they saw because I definately was lol. I was doing walking lunges like I had ripped into a bottle of scotch before starting. My legs were wobbling and shaking and I dont know how I didnt fall down. It was a great workout at least that is what I thought Monday. I had my shower before getting Reece from the creche really feeling great for giving it ago and then headed on home.

Tuesday I went back to the gym stiff as a board and quite sore. I went on the cross trainer and the rower trying to gently stretch my legs and arms out. I was struggling to walk and after the work out I had a bit more movement. Wednesday and Thursday I didnt go to the gym. I was in a whole new world of pain. My quads were in that much pain that I had to physically pull myself out of my car by holding onto the door and the door frame. I used the pram as a crutch and my legs kept trying to give way but my stubborness forced me to keep walking to get my older son off to school and back home again. Today I weighed in at 87.8kg so that was a loss of only 300g (probably gained muscle) and my legs are still a bit tight but I can now walk and go up stairs... going down stairs is still a little bit of a challenge but at least I dont have to grip onto the rail like I did the previous two days. I went back to the gym today and used the rower and bike. I may not get a chance to go back to the gym before I have the next personal training session but at least my quads will get a rest. I will be up early though to take my son to play AFL in the blue mountains for a Gala day so I may get a work out pushing the pram around for an hour to stop the bub getting frustrated.

Happy Mothers Day to all the beautiful mothers out there for Sunday!

Sunday gym workout

I headed off to the gym at 5.30pm tonight with the mission to reach 30 mins straight on the cross trainer in amongst my workout and I exceeded that and reached 35mins on the cross trainer... felt a bit light headed when I got off but I had a silly grin on my face when I headed to the shower. It was a bit embarrassing though when I left the changerooms all fresh and happy with my progress to discover all the machines were turned off and I was the last gym member leaving for the night followed by the last two personal trainers leaving for the night as the gym was closed!

I have told my husband to buy me clothes for mothers day this year as with my dwindling size I am soon going to have nothing to wear that will stay up and he is now telling me how great I look which is definately a boost I needed with tomorrows personal training session looming.

I am hoping for a good weightloss this week especially with the effort I am puttting in but I do know this is a long journey and every journey has bumps in the road... I am just hoping to hit them like a steam roller and smash them out of the way.

I am hoping to find somewhere that has nice clothes... lately I have been looking around and I havent seen much that wont make me look like a burlisque dancer and that is definately not me lol.

Well I am off to watch the biggest loser since I recorded it so I could get a good gym work out.

Cant Win

I dont like to use the word cant since there is nothing positive about it but as I sit here, with my 4 month old baby in my arms throwing up all over me since he has a stomach bug, I have to face the music that there is no way I will get to the gym today. I would be happy just to get off my couch today but even that doesnt look likely to happen in the next hour or so.

Yesterday out of sheer determination I managed to do 25 mins straight on the cross trainer. By the end I could no longer feel my toes. Definately not used to that one but it is a big improvement from 2 weeks ago... plus my heart rate stayed between 130 - 150 so definately starting to see an improvement.

~ 1 hour later
So I have managed to get Reece finally off to bed... hopefully he sleeps for a while because I now have a mountain of clothes to wash and a whole house to disinfect. I wonder how many calories you can burn doing housework? I am hoping he is feeling better after he has some sleep or I may have to cancel his booking in the gym creche for tomorrow too.

Monday I have my first personal training session in around 7 years so I think it will be very interesting to see if I can move still on tuesday but if it is going to budge these stubborn kilos I will give it 100%. I had the doctor tell me to increase my calories for a couple of days because my body was doing things it shouldnt be and now I am back to normal and the calorie intake can go back down which I am happy about because after eating 1200 calories for 9 weeks then having to eat between 1800 - 2100 I was really struggling to eat it. Amazing that before I started my journey with the biggest loser club I could eat un-imaginable numbers of calories and now I feel like an overstuffed penguin if I even eat 1600!

Well I hope everyone is having a great week and may you shed those kilos by the bucket loads!

Easter Show Madness

Well I wasnt online yesterday because of all the family easter fuss and I did eat 1400 cals in a day but today I took my 5 year old to the easter show and I can tell you that after walking around with hardly any stopping for 7 hours (last hour carrying a huge pile of show bags) left me with sore feet but I imagine since I am now starving that I burned off a fair few cals today!

I find my willpower amazing... My husband doesnt really care about my weight so he doesnt think about it much... the old I love you just the way you are ring any bells? Well tonight (about half an hour ago) he asks me what I would like for dinner... I say that I havent thought about it since I have only been in the door for 30 mins and so what does he do??? Arrange to order pizzas! When he asks me if I want pizza he gets a big shock when I say NO! I am heating up a weight watchers chicken fettucine meal and I am going to enjoy the fact that I wont be hungry and I wont need to do 10 hours of running to burn it off. Win win situation if you ask me lol.

Easter and Chocolate in all its glory

Well today was a day full of adventure... well more like stress lol. I purposely left the buying chocolate eggs and stuffed toy bunnies until today to remove any chance of temptation... instead I should have bought them and locked them in the safe at my parents house. Who knew today would be so hectic??? Obviously I didnt take a thought to the thousands of people that would be crazily shopping at the last minute just like me. Oh dear why did I do this? Firstly I went to one shop and only walked out with a little rattle duck which has bunny ears on it for my baby boy... 20 mins of walking around aimlessly in circles... sigh... just think of the steps you are accumulating (should have worn my pedometer). Off to the next shopping centre and woah there are thousands and thousands of cars here! I got a parking space almost as far away from the shopping centre as possible (more unknown quantity of steps earned). In Big W there was a range of eggs and toys... only problem is around 60% were smashed, squashed or broked and the ones left are going fast as people are flying through the isles snatching stuff off the shelves at an incredible pace. No time for an anxiety attack (absolutely hate packed shopping centres but too late now... I put myself in this situation and I have to get myself out of it) I join in the crazy snatch and grab and I didnt grab a basket so my arms are piled up with boxes and boxes of eggs and bunnies and toys for all my husbands cousins, my nephews, my parents, my kids, my sisters, my step-sons girlfriend, my step-grand daughter (long story but makes me feel a bit old lol), a friend -and her mother, my mother in-law... gosh I am starting to pull moths from the wallet! An hour after I left home I am walking out of the shops and so glad that is over... it did me good though because after that experience I definately have no interest whatsoever in anything to do with easter that is edible or bunny shaped.

Now for exercise... well I dont go to the gym on the weekends only mon-friday because my son has AFL and swimming and my husband is usually out and about but I already have the exercise dvds ready and as soon as my 5 year old is in bed this laptop is getting switched off and I am going to get all sweaty lol. It probably does me good to have a shake up in my routine at the end of the week anyways.

Does anyone know what the highest calorie burning exercise is at the gym? It hit my curiosity today since I still have another week before I start with the personal trainer. Anyways I am off to cook my oldest son dinner now that he has finally cleaned his room after making his room resemble the local tip. Have a good night everyone!

The Personal Torturer

Today was a great day. I stepped on the scales and read 88.6kg so 1.3kg lost this week. My muscles in my calves were so stiff that I started the day waddling like a penguin... revenge of the exercise bike. Not to matter... time to entertain my 5 year old and why not add a little exercise in while I am at it. We headed off to Narragingy Reserve to go for a walk and my son loved the end of our park trip when he got to see the ducks swimming around.



Guess that takes care of my walking outdoors. Anyways then we went and played 2 games of ten pin bowling which sparked a competitive streak in my son... although he didnt beat me, he is determined to do so next time... cheaky little munchkin.

5pm I headed off to the gym and first thing I did was buy a bright pink pair of weight gloves. Might as well have some colour to make it more cheery. Ok so then I pulled myself together and walked over to the personal trainers desk. Since it is a public holiday only one personal trainer was at the desk and naturally I get the take no crap boxing loving torturer... lucky me lol. He warned me that when we start on the 2nd of May I will be doing an hour of different weights training exercises and the first thing that came to my mind (and I said it too) was I went through drug-free labours with both of my kids and there was no way that he could bring me to the level of pain that I went through with my kids so there is no way I will wimp out... which earned me a smile that said just wait and see! Ahhhhhhhhhh lol.

Anyways I worked out for an hour using various machines and there is that stiff leg feeling again... sigh... well at least I know my muscles are working lol. Now I am home waiting for the biggest loser to finish recording on my foxtel so I can quickly watch it before I throw on an exercise dvd or two to do while the hubby is out at the football.

The Inspiration

I decided to create this blog to share my experiences after being inspired by Miss Amy from the Biggest Loser Club. Last week I went back to the gym after having my membership frozen for a year and what an experience that was. I walked in sheepishly, like most people are the first time they step foot in the gym being obese, and I must have stuck out like a sore thumb with a 5 year old bouncing around like crazy and pushing a pram with a tired crying baby carrying bags and bags on each arms. I stopped at the cafe and sat down dumping all the bags on the floor and got my baby to sleep. Step one complete now to get the kids in the creche. Nappy bag, bottles, piles of bibs yep I am ready! I load up the pram with the baby bags and throw my gym bag on my back and go through the gates and into the creche.


Kids are sorted now where did I put that $2 coin for the locker Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Gym bag gets tipped upside down and naturally I find it in a pocket... Now I stuff the gym things I dont need back into the bag and lock it in the locker. I head out to the gym... damn no headphones... back to get my wallet. All this and I havent even stepped on the machine yet GRRRRRRRRR! I get earphones from the reception desk and head to the treadmill... Ok still got an hour and 15 mins to get a workout and have a shower before I have to go back to being a mother but for now it is me time.


I put the machine up to 6.0 and walk for 20 mins so about 2kms done and I am starting to actually enjoy myself... I even have a smile on my face... what else can I do??? How about that funny looking exercise bike. I dont know what they call it but it is the one with the seat that has a back on it and the peddles are more forward... anyways I did 10km on that and my gosh can I feel my butt. I then hop on the cross trainer... my heart rate soars to over 170 and after 10 mins I peel myself from the machine... definately a great calorie burner but I definately need to improve my fitness.


Anyways that was day one... now this week I tackled 2000m on the rowing machine and got rewarded with blisters... thanks for the suggestions of weight gloves girls... so going to buy them tomorrow now my hands have gone down. I got to 18 mins on the cross trainer and working on getting to 30 mins. I have started doing intervals of running and walking on the treadmill. I bet I look like a tomato when doing it as I am sweating like I have just stepped out of a shower and puffing like crazy but I am still strangely enjoying this.


I am hoping to go tomorrow and book a personal trainer to try and help me maximise my weightloss and increase my fitness as I definately need it. My main goal is to reach size 10 - 12 by my birthday in November and I am definately on the way there.